The 12 Step Aside Program - Step 4

by Step Aside Butch

STEP FOUR
Let other help with your self-help

Welcome back, future acceptable members of society. Tonight we will struggle on bloody hands and knees over the broken-glass embedded step four. Get ready to scream in agony as we lick the rusty razor blade that is Corporate Defined Popular Culture. When you are ripped form the security of your home, look around you. Not only will you see people "smiling" as we noticed last week, but you will distinctly notice that more than just their expressions are similar. You may start to see patterns in the way people dress and act. You might just notice that any one given person could be easily compared to another. The things they buy. The music they listen to. Their hair, shoes, dogs, anything can and will resemble most everyone elses. And you may open your eyes and witness the beauty of social conformity.

Now I want everyone to sit back and breath and relax. Take a deep breath like we learned in Step One. Now repeat after me; "Dear Christ, why can't I be like everyone else?"

Well, let me tell ya why. You people are "unorthadox". The fact that you are here is solid proof. Don't go offing yourselfs just yet, there may be hope.

For this excercise, I will need a member of the audience.

In order to let other help us become individuals like everyone else, we are going to have to step on a few toes to get up those 12 Steps. This humiliation will let us build our "Inner Asshole" for the rest of the step. Feel free to laugh at him.

"I am the cause of my numerous, unsolvable problems."

"I am not special on my birthday, in fact, I'm never special."

"My anger is because of all the excuses I make."

"Bitches are people too."

Thank you.

Tomorrow, I want all of you fine Americans to buy everything that popular media puts in front your greedy faces. Whatever it is that advertising puts on your TV, your radio, billboard, magazine, then run to the store and yell at the top of your lungs; "I want and need these exceptional products to assist in my co-existence with ordinary members of the social order. I need to feel needed by the normal people. By the college goers and sports fans. The car guys and the stoners. The local fucking musicions right on the edge of stardom. I want to be there when they make it. The supremecists and inferiorists. The Jesu-freaks and the militant nobodys. The educated masses. The ignorant masses. The masochist masses. I want to be that Christmas-day-no-care-in-the-world boy within the perpetual bliss of joyous anticipation. That is what I want to keep me up at night. Expectance of something worth sleeping for. Life and love and everything that money can't buy but is unattainable without it. I want inspirational music echoing through my desensitized sensibilities. I want official apologies, back taxes, penile implants, doubtless faith, reduntant safety measures, sexual slavery, a draft to dodge, a killing drug, unpopular opinion, minority rule, a cause to fight for, and a cause to fight against. I want it to be OK to like the rain and the night. I want the alternative to be destroyed utterly when that term is applied to it. I want 24 hour access, eight day work weeks, suicidal bombers that fight to live, a prayer on the lips of a dead child prostitute, a curse on the tongue of a unsatisfied-with-life 27 year old millionaire pornstar who can no longer orgasm. And to the perfect people. The naturally genetically superior super-humans. Educated in dead languages and world domination. The pure and wealthy and unblemeshed by decayed urbanity, unburned by sun, untouched by hands not sterilized. You will not find us complacent with the leftovers of your new order. You will brainwash us with quick-fix, lowest common denominator entertainment, and you will transfuse our blood with poison and cancer, but you need not worry about us. No, we'll be OK. Like a child kicked some toy to play with. We'll be alright. Go on, turn your attention to your perfectly constitant complexion and 135 year lifespans. Don't mind us. We'll just find a quiet place in the back of a bar, and discuss what is to be done with you.