What Happened

by Anna McCambridge

Just after midnight.
I stand - still in my party dress,
Makeup, heels and regrets.
The ocean sings in front of me, and
The salty mist is carried to my face
On the cool night wind. It blows back my hair,
Revealing every thought etched in my stress-hardened face.
My long dress lightly slaps agains my calves,
Which are bound by the protocol of the semi-dress world.

The beach, just after midnight.
I have found myself here often, escaping from the many forms of control
Always attempting to embed themselves in my life.
I remove my shoes and nylons and step from the wooden stairs
Into the soft sand. I am welcomed back immediately in its cool embrace,
As it wraps around my toes, and soothes my psyche with each step.
I dance to the music made by friends, who, nearby are enjoying their own escape.
We dance, sing and laugh.
Then, I start to run.
I run close to the water's edge, then into the water,
Lifting my dress to hip level, allowing me to sprint.
I am fast, stretching my legs out further each time my toes touch down.
But do they? I am running faster than the land is passing me,
Reality blurs, and I begin alternately crying and laughing hysterically.
I run and run, splashing through the shallow waves, dress up to my waist now,
Looking like an insane ostrich or a two-legged gazelle from a drug-induced dream.
My lungs are burning, but I could go on.
My throat is making contracted, wheezing gasps amid the sobs and shrieks of laughter
and I lurch to a sudden stop.
I have run far and my body is energized yet on the verge of feeling broken.